Are You a Perfectionist? Learn the Traits and How to Break Free

Stereotypically, we may think of perfectionists as people who are highly successful at work, school, relationships, or other important areas of life. This version of perfectionism is common and it is often the case that the desire to produce perfection leads to a strong work ethic and high achievement. For these perfectionists, they are likely their own worst critic and find that they receive consistently positive feedback from teachers, parents, supervisors, or coworkers. This perfectionist may experience the feeling that they are a fraud, and that despite positive feedback from others, they are essentially a failure as they have not yet reached the impossible state of perfection. They are hyper-aware of even small mistakes, and may feel that these missteps define their level of self worth.

There is another form of perfectionism that is often missed. For some, the need to be perfect actually causes them to freeze in the face of basic tasks. To the outside world, these tasks may seem straightforward, but to the perfectionist, these tasks are daunting as they are opportunities to fall short of the perfect standard that they hold themselves to. These perfectionists may receive negative feedback at school or work; others may perceive them as “lazy” or unwilling to work hard. The reality is that these individuals feel plagued by the reality that they cannot achieve perfection and therefore cannot engage in the task. The person may believe, deep down, that if they cannot produce perfect work, then there is no point in producing any work.

Regardless of the way perfectionism looks to the observer, it can be distressing to experience firsthand.